Patrick Crooks
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ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Adam Schultz is beginning to regret using one of his three wishes to bring infamous…
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Dan Rice
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AMERICA — An overwhelming majority of rational Americans announced they were suddenly infected with hope, an emotion thought to be…
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John Danek
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HARRISBURG, Pa. — Those invited to celebrate the marriage of punk drummer Scotty Corless and slaughterhouse foreman Anna “Slander” Dietrich…
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Patrick Crooks
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FALLS CHURCH, Va. — 36-year-old Michael Connelly’s sarcastic response moments ago to a demand from his parents effectively eliminated the…
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Ted Pillow
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Life is meaningless, our world is in flames, and all hope is futile. But just because I’m dead on the…
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Zach Russell
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YONKERS, N.Y. — 83-year-old Judith Swanson tragically passed away last night at New York Presbyterian Hospital due to complications from…
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Collin Canning
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LUBBOCK, Texas — Psych-rock band Three Inch Teeth treated their drummer Mitchell Gauthier to a night on the town last…
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Pat Cavanaugh
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CHICAGO — Dungeons & Dragons player Joanna Bateman claimed her natural 20 should be recognized even though the die went…
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Mark Roebuck
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Hey wait a minute, why is this labelled as an opinion piece? It absolutely is called a die. This is…
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Doug Francisco
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SAN FRANCISCO — The “death” section of the Wikipedia page for punk legend Benny Core is far longer than any…
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