Tim Sheard
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Few bands had a hit in the eighties that resonated with so broad an audience as J. Geils Band did…
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So you’re on a sobriety kick, I get it, we’ve all been there. Or, maybe you’re straight edge, haven’t even…
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Courtney Hill
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FAIRFAX, Va. — Local sixth-grader Kenny Jenkins suddenly took up vaping in hopes of charming his older brother’s sex robot,…
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Corey Montgomery
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You recently just met the person of your dreams. They're hot and they make eye contact with you. Every time…
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Joe Rumrill
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LINCOLN, Mass. — Local homeowner Shauneese Fortenberry was surprised to receive a “punk” singing telegram yesterday that left the entire…
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Jessica Lillian
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FREDERICK, Md. — Local single man and self-proclaimed hopeless romantic Noah Reveis has at last identified what he described as…
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John Danek
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CLARKSBURG, W. Va. — Hopeless romantic Stevie Knightson recently imploded his entire social life by profusely expressing his longtime admiration…
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Bobby Korec
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PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Local inebriated man Kevin Donaghue drank a few sips of water before bed moments ago in an…
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Kaitlyn Jeffers
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NAPA, Calif. — Local woman Amanda Perez believes that, for the first time in her life, she most likely has…
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Louie Aronowitz
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UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush…
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