BEDMINSTER, N.J. — President Trump has appointed the once-popular 90s alt-rock band Spin Doctors to lead the country’s coronavirus task force, during an impromptu press…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Callahan’s Casket Emporium will offer a “Back to School Blowout Sale” this year, offering discounts of up to 50% on last year’s…
MASPETH, N.Y. — Skull Valley frontman Jeremy Cesiro is worried his underage girlfriend would be put in danger by her returning to high school in…
2020 has been a weird year, to say the least. With no end to the COVID-19 pandemic in sight, entertainment has become more important than…
AUSTIN, Texas — Gov. Greg Abbott signed a new, statewide law today that would mandate each Texan to do their part to stop the spread…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed to survive the pandemic and…
AMHERST, Mass. — Smorth College announced today that instead of face-to-face instruction, it will release its fall semester classes on vinyl, citing pandemic concerns. “This…
CHICAGO — Music aficionado Ryan Moran booked his first trip to Tokyo last week, making the journey to try to save money on his expensive…
AMITYVILLE, N.Y. — Local music fan Kyle Hartley was ridiculed at an outdoor Words Are Wind show yesterday for wearing the band’s COVID-19 mask he…
AURORA, Ill. — Local man Wendell Banks drove a 2013 Prius hybrid to popular power-pop trio Fold-Out Fedora’s drive-in show last night, proudly displaying a…
PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to cross a river because they…
QUEENS, N.Y. — Patrons of neighborhood dive The Rowdy Owl discovered yesterday that potentially contracting COVID-19 was the least dangerous part of the recently reopened…
EDGARTOWN, Mass. — Residents of the popular New England summer destination Martha’s Vineyard reported that a local coot and grizzled sailor known only as “McGill”…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Career landlord and general piece of shit Tyler Simpson was devastated to learn today that he’s also losing his tenants’ unemployment benefits,…