BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing…
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Chandler Dean
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EARTH — The entire world was devastated to learn Friday that, because of a general oversight on humanity’s part, the…
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Kevin Flynn
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WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the…
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Tom Peters
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local musician Wes Feltus is allegedly receiving ill-placed sympathy from friends who assume his income came from…
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Aviva Siegel
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MADISON, Wisc. — Derek Carlson surprised his girlfriend Jessica Kravtsova today with the gift of allowing her to make all…
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Patrick Crooks
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ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral program for recently deceased Nathan Rivard was the most fun his friends have had since…
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Liam O'Malley
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ATLANTA — In an attempt to help Americans better understand and adjust to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease…
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Ted Pillow
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever…
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Mark Roebuck
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RACCOON CITY — Albert Wesker, a former commanding officer of the highly decorated Alpha Team of the STARS division of…
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Sarah Feliciano
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MUNCIE, Ind. – World-renowned, curmudgeonly orange cat Garfield has forgotten which day of the week he famously hates due to…
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