Ben Friedman
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LOS ANGELES — Social media website MySpace announced today it will require their singular employee to work from home during…
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Ella Gale
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WASHINGTON — Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos stood triumphantly beneath a “Mission Accomplished” banner in an empty cafetorium yesterday after…
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Patrick Coyne
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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LOS ANGELES — Actor Christopher Walken announced today that his 102 degree fever was simply for more cowbell and had…
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Nick Ortolani
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LOS ANGELES — Ethically non-monogamous couples around the world announced today that open relationships will be closed indefinitely to help…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ATLANTA — Musician, comedian, and actor Donald Glover released a vaccine he created for COVID-19 on his website donaldpresentsthecure.com at…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Freddy Strickland has changed all the clocks in his apartment to early July in order…
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Joseph Stilwell
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WASHINGTON — Spouses of EVE Online players are growing anxious after learning that the government was sending stimulus checks to…
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John Danek
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PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday…
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Owen Crowlie
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WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via…
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