NEW YORK — Several CEOs of prominent video game companies held a joint press conference today, announcing that the entire calendar year of 2020 is…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham stole a substantial portion of his daughter’s cereal this morning to help him “stay sharp” for when…
FLINT, Mich. — Officials from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced Friday afternoon that Flint, Mich. residents should use only soap when washing…
Netflix Orders Two More Weeks of Quarantine So Viewers Can Rewatch and Truly Understand “Tiger King”
Netflix Orders Two More Weeks of Quarantine So Viewers Can Rewatch and Truly Understand “Tiger King”
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix CEO Reed Hastings ordered two more weeks of nationwide quarantine to give subscribers a chance to rewatch and “fully wrap…
ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Local woman Natasha Hinson shaved her head today to allow more space to achieve the perfect cat-eye makeup look, sources who don’t…
MIAMI — Restaurant chain Benihana will offer a full hibachi dining experience, including its trademark onion volcanoes, to customers parked curbside in the wake of…
NEW YORK — OneStar Bank CEO Finnegan Bostwick claimed today that if the U.S. Congress doesn’t pass a separate bailout including $40 billion for his…
Other aspects of life do not end just because we’re in some form of quarantine and this includes self care. Wait, did you see that?…
When this whole coronavirus thing is all over and we look back, it is going to be the brave men and women of our service…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured polio or some shit” just…
LOS ANGELES — Actor Christopher Walken announced today that his 102 degree fever was simply for more cowbell and had nothing to do with the…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local punk and part-time crafts enthusiast Mark Penderson, seeing a need for DIY face masks to help fight the spread of COVID-19,…
LOS ANGELES — Ethically non-monogamous couples around the world announced today that open relationships will be closed indefinitely to help ensure social distancing in response…
Hey there, just wanted to pop into the comments section of this memorial post for your late husband and let you know that, while coronavirus…
FLAVORTOWN — Celebrity chef and T.V. personality Guy Fieri was placed under unexpected quarantine due to the coronavirus after arriving in Flavortown this week, bomb-ass…