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How to Stay Calm in Quarantine When the Walls Are Clearly Closing In

Other aspects of life do not end just because we’re in some form of quarantine and this includes self care. Wait, did you see that? We could have sworn this apartment was bigger yesterday. We swear that wall just moved in. Shit, maybe not. Sorry, we’ve been cooped up here for a while.

Mental illness does not take a vacation. Mental illness is quarantined in here with us so we have to get innovative to maintain our mental health during these times. Fuck, we swear that wall was like six feet further away this morning. Here is the official Hard Times guide to staying calm in quarantine even though the walls are clearly closing in around you.

Pretend you’re in a mansion! – This way you can pretend you have all the space in the world to roam. Also, that way the walls will take longer to close in because they clearly are.

Take regular breaks from social media and news coverage – While it can be tempting to replace social interaction with the internet, reading too much coronavirus news can lead to catastrophic thinking and ruminating about things you cannot control. One thing you can control is taking regular breaks to avoid anxiety provoking news and boomer humor memes. One thing you can’t control is these walls that have begun closing in around you.

Push the walls really hard – No clue if this’ll work but what else can we do when we’re confined to this physical and mental prison. We’re just sayin’ we didn’t see them try to fight the house in The Shining so who knows.


ESCAPE TO THE STREETS – Motherfucker, just run for it! You’re better off in the diseased unknown than in this apartment that is closing in around you and is certain to crush your mind, body, and spirit. We’ll be there running naked beside you, finally free. Finally free.

Adjust to your hospital room – Okay maybe leaving the house was a rash decision. Upon reflection, we realize it was all in our heads. However, the walls in this hospital room are most certainly closing in. We gotta get outta here. You watch for guards, we’ll take off our clothes.

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