The rare three day weekend is upon us, and judging by your employment history, this is likely a more common experience than it’s made out…
“Oh What’s This?!” Exclaims Mom Reaching into Cooler Who Knows Damned Well it’s Hard Seltzer
By Dan Rice
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother Meredith Ashby displayed a performative expression of surprise and intrigue at a neighborhood cookout yesterday afternoon after reaching into the…
Mom Wondering if You’ll Be Home for Fourth of July Barbecue or if You’ll Be Too Busy With Your Critical Race Theory
By Dianne Nora
CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you’ll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you’ll be too busy with this…
Nextdoor App Crashes as Neighbors Snitch on Their Own HOA BBQ Violations
By Khadija Hassan
SEATTLE — Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque celebrations out of habit, according…
Free Hot Dogs All It Took to Get Punk to Celebrate America
By James Knapp
SANDUSKY, Ohio — Local punk Curtis “Copkiller” Richards reportedly ceased his habit of constant slander against the United States while enjoying a few kosher beef…