NEWARK, N.J. — Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Agent Gary Morton decided to change his morally reprehensible ways and lead an upstanding life after a…
It’s the holidays, which means it’s time to go home an delicately navigate social interaction with the right-wing bigots you have nothing in common with…
Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the inside of this subterranean Disneyland prison complex is so delightful. That’s right, I might be the one…
ENDICOTT, N.Y. — Local man Jullian Karnes is hopeful for a war waged by the working class towards the wealthy elite this Christmas, but will…
Go through the Christmas carol canon and there are dozens of songs about wanting to to fuck Santa Claus. “Santa Baby.” “I Saw Mommy Kissing…
SEATTLE – Christmas carolers and members of local black metal band Kirkeråte only reached three houses before succumbing to the urge to kill one another,…
So far, winter break has been pretty cool. I was really excited for Christmas, and I know Mom and Dad hide presents in their closet.…
So you’re broke, it’s almost Christmas, and you forgot to buy gifts for everyone. Great news! Turns out that show you’re at right now is…
When I left home to become a big-time mall Santa divorce attorney in New York City, I never thought I’d end up back in my…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a new bill that bans the word “gay” from being used in any Christmas songs past or…
Well, it’s that magical time of the year again. It’s the holidays and all that capitalist bullshit that we used to make fun of when…
Whether you are among the 1% aristocrats or just a big Kubrick fan playing pretend, Christmas is a time to get naked and recreate everyone’s…
LOS ANGELES — A decorative mistletoe went missing at a Hollywood holiday party only to be discovered in a private bedroom being sucked on by…
Son, I will not be mailing your Christmas wishlist to the North Pole this year, please have a seat. Over the years your mother and…
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
The holidays are back once again and many feel the urgent community responsibility of purchasing their loved one’s gifts from local, neighborhood stores even though…