SALEM, Mass. — The parents of goth teenager Thomas Sullivan are uncertain how to properly stuff their son’s fishnet Christmas stocking, sources close to the…
Christmas is rapidly approaching. Malls are abuzz with holiday shoppers and many folks are starting to put up their decorations and resume yuletide traditions of…
LA LUZ, N.M. — Zoe Rivas was reunited last night with her family’s premium cable subscription immediately upon returning to her parents’ house for a…
CINCINNATI — Local father and metalhead Conrad Dungy has forbidden his children from opening up any mosh pits until Christmas morning, sources close to the…
REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — EA has surprised Battlefront II players with a bundle of free content inspired by the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special, after…
AMERICA — Americans across the nation are struggling to remember their previous holiday traditions as they prep for their first Christmas season after eight years…
LODI, N.J. — A highly anticipated Christmas album from punk legends The Misfits consists primarily of songs about Halloween, multiple confused listeners confirmed. The album,…
Upon entering my local Starbucks this week, I heard a catchy tune playing over the speakers. The voice sounded powerful and familiar, so I asked…
SEATTLE — The War on Christmas took a disturbing turn this week when radicalized Starbucks employees released a shocking video showing the beheading of one…
MONTCLAIR, N.J. – Eternal bringer of joy and recent vegan convert Kris Kringle ignored countless offerings of milk and cookies and left behind an informative pamphlet…
Woah. They say Christmas is a time of miracles, but this is just unbelievable. My older brother Derek got a 40 CD wallet for…
ODENSE, Kan. — An ugly Christmas sweater has reportedly grown up into a beautiful bathrobe, in what one lucky local man described as a “Christmas…
You guys – this has been an insane day here at Hard Style! We saw one of those articles where they ask influential musicians to…
NEW YORK — A much-needed last-minute practice for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was delayed yet again by fucking Dale Andrews, who was late to rehearsal for the…
Experts agree: If The Hard Style is proficient at one thing it’s Biblical scholarship. But, as you know, there is an abundance of misinformation floating…
