CRAWLEY, West Sussex — The Cure frontman and monopoly-challenging hero Robert Smith negotiated with Ticketmaster to cancel Morrissey’s planned U.S. tour, sources relieved to get…
Oh, I see how it is. Now that you find out he’s an anti-vaxxer and a flat-Earther, now you’re okay with attacking him online. What…
In the grand tradition of using social media to help solve real world problems, when we heard our friend’s cat had gone missing we posted…
NEW YORK — Jezebel writer Cara Olson has reportedly been ‘methodical’ and ‘giddy’ in her attempt to find something problematic about the critically acclaimed HBO…
MONTREAL — Canadian pop punk musician and overall good dude Jeremiah Dean released a public apology yesterday despite not being accused of any unacceptable behavior…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — The remaining members of the outspoken nü-metal band Trapt are seeking an ill-informed bigot with cursory drumming ability to replace their…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Quarantined suitor Gabe Dawson canceled his highly anticipated Zoom date with “hot barista Dylan” last night after spending 45 minutes as…
WORLDWIDE — The Super Smash Bros. community is in shock today after dozens of people came forward with sexual assault and pedophilia allegations against many,…
DALLAS — White liberal and exhausted local ally, Sonya Neptin, is wondering how many tweets they have to write before racism is finally cancelled, sources…
As a proud member of the alt-right (and recent college graduate with a degree in English Literature thank you very much), I understand that most…
AUSTIN, Texas — Austin native Trevor Conley lamented the sudden cancelation of SXSW claiming the long-running tech, music, and film fest used to draw much…
NEW YORK — Comedy Central announced the cancelation of “Straight Edge History” last night immediately after it’s inaugural episode aired, citing record-low ratings for a…
LOS ANGELES — ’90s electronica artist Moby dismissed today the negative statements you allegedly made about him on a friends’ Instagram post, with the musician…
WATKINS GLEN, N.Y. — Organizers behind Woodstock 50 abruptly canceled the festival after discovering the desired location was already booked for a little league baseball…
“It can’t be true,” you say. “There must have been a mix-up or the reporter got the name wrong.” Your heart races. The hair on…