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Where’s My Medal? I Was Harassing This Celebrity Long Before They Were Canceled

Oh, I see how it is. Now that you find out he’s an anti-vaxxer and a flat-Earther, now you’re okay with attacking him online. What about all of those years I was harassing this guy before it was the “in” thing to do? Where’s my fucking medal?

Don’t act like you don’t remember. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I used to reply to every single word he tweeted and my replies were horrific. And don’t forget the memes! You can’t tell me that my memes weren’t viscerally shocking. I guess I’m not such an “obsessive weirdo” now that the whole world is doing it too!

Let’s not forget my pièce de résistance. It took me months to teach myself how to build my own AI system, but I did it. Then I used it to create a trail of counterfeit documents and deep-faked interviews that did him in. When I submitted the story to TMZ, it was all over for this asshole. The world would know he’s a monster! And now everyone totally buys that he’s an anti-vaxxer and a flat-Earther!

What I’m trying to say is that it’s a real tragedy here that I’m not being recognized for my work in this space. And no one is praising the endlessly creative ways I trolled this jackass. I got the results I wanted, just not the recognition. Maybe that’s enough, though. Etiher way, that’ll teach him to Tweet a less than favorable comment about Jake Gyllenhaal.