President Biden’s SAVE plan, his audacious agenda to cancel student loans for millions of Americans, was immediately embraced by the public when it was revealed…
BALTIMORE — Local punk Ricky Turnbull disavowed disgraced pop punk band Finisher’s Medal by covering their once-prominent patch on his jacket with a slightly larger…
MINNEAPOLIS – Young musician Carrie Weaver miraculously discovered that the only way they can remain in awe of their grizzled punk mentor Karen Cunt is…
WACO, Texas — Local punk Brianna “Gutpack” Mullhall was visibly upset upon learning Chip and Joanna Gaines will soon renovate beloved DIY venue Sugar House,…
Oh, I see how it is. Now that you find out he’s an anti-vaxxer and a flat-Earther, now you’re okay with attacking him online. What…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary alt-crooner Morrissey admitted that he feels creatively fulfilled now that he is able to cancel his performances at the last minute…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local man Charlie Miller made the bold decision today to only listen to canceled bands on Spotify in order to keep from…
McLENNAN COUNTY, Texas — Prolific artist and former U.S. President George W. Bush is facing a firestorm of controversy today after numerous videos emerged online…
WORLDWIDE — The Super Smash Bros. community is in shock today after dozens of people came forward with sexual assault and pedophilia allegations against many,…
MIAMI — Ofc. Mark Stewart of the Miami Police Department has reportedly changed his opinion on being filmed while on the job, despite once proudly…
SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS — Professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft admit they’re struggling with teaching students remotely via Zoom several months into a devastating outbreak of…
DALLAS — Following rumors that one of Joss Whedon’s most beloved and unabashedly racist admirers would soon be scrapped from society, local sources officially confirmed…