PORTLAND, Ore. — The recent breakup between aspiring singer-songwriter Davy Briggs and girlfriend of two months Evelyn Hanna was deemed insufficiently traumatic to inspire a…
NORFOLK, Va. — Members of local power pop band The Voltage Enthusiasts reportedly purchased a synthesizer in what some are claiming is a “last ditch…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with close friend Collin Montrose due…
CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will do as little as humanly…
RENO, Nev. — Couples therapy specialist and nu metal enthusiast Dr. Stephen Hoffman has found it’s best not to take sides in an argument and…
Breaking up with someone is always difficult, but at least when you’re ending a romantic relationship there is a template to follow. Chances are it’s…
BALTIMORE — Members of local punk band Slip and Fall realized they’d neglected to tell their bassist they’d voted him out of the group weeks…
PITTSBURGH — Local woman Stephanie Commita’s relationship of seven years is reportedly “teetering on the brink of complete collapse” following a recent amateur tarot card…
CHICAGO — A pair of tickets to Riot Fest purchased several months ago is reportedly the only thing keeping local couple Chloe Jackson and Reese…