Patrick Coyne
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WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man and guy who “maybe enjoys an occasional drink, no big deal” Dennis Walsh realized yesterday…
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Andrew Murphy
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BOSTON — A landmark study by a rowdy crew of sloshed scientists at the Harvard School of Drunk Studies have…
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Patrick Crooks
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PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a…
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Michael Luis
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CHICAGO — Local man Keith McKenna purchased alcohol for a group of teens last Friday on the condition that they…
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Dom Turek
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All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit…
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John Danek
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LOS ANGELES — Bartender Parker McClaine of the trendy Tales of the Garden cocktail lounge is blatantly and equally inattentive…
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BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — New reports reveal disturbing details about the non-severity of local sober punk Kevin Tartare’s past relationship with…
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Contributor
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BOSTON — Straight edge scene veteran Jesse Hunter miraculously transformed a simple glass of water into an opportunity for ruthless…
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PHILADELPHIA — Dapper punk Theo Mahan’s preference for high-class mixed drinks has inspired a sophisticated smuggling operation for crafting in-show…
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RICHMOND, Va. -- Following a failed attempt to kickstart a career in sandwich artistry, local man Mike Barkley officially enrolled…
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