WARWICK, R.I. — Longtime Dave & Buster’s customer and man who’s had a real rough go of it lately Geoff Pond was shocked when he…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local deadhead Conrad Heath announced that, while he certainly appreciates his loved ones singing “Happy Birthday” to him every year, no performance…
The Hard Times launched on December 14, 2014, and since then we have continued to bring you the most hard-hitting, unbiased reporting in the entire…
ELLENSBURG, Wash. — Members of local skiffle-punk revival band Rat Boy and The Cheese Police agreed to practice a song written by the group’s drummer,…
There’s nothing worse than a gray, flavorless steak. You might as well be eating a piece of shoe leather! Fortunately, we can give you tips…
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the delicious Funfetti birthday cake that’s…
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — A Cameo greeting from acclaimed character actor, Michael Shannon, left the recipient of the message Josh Gaither unable to sleep and thoroughly…
Girlfriends are always trying to fix you. Eat healthy. Get your GED. Don’t forget my birthday. At a certain point, you have to start living…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Daniel Powers is searching for an acceptable way to find out if his niece’s upcoming birthday party will be BYOB or…
MINNEAPOLIS — Former police officer and now-convicted murderer, Derek Chauvin, is reportedly upset that the most sacred day on his calendar, Hitler’s birthday, is tarnished…
So I keep hearing from the left that, apparently, white males control every aspect of culture, economy, and politics. I would like to offer my…
Friend Celebrating Birthday at Home in Quarantine Still Manages to Start Drunken Fight and Lose Shoe
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Local woman Frankie Landis exceeded all her previous birthday expectations by somehow still managing to start a drunken fight and lose her…
NEW YORK — Local man Bryan Watson spent his 28th birthday last week quarantined from friends and family due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but didn’t…