Shane Pauker
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SEATTLE — The World Health Organization formally recommended people only consume a disappointingly low number of beers at lunch, citing…
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Bobby Korec
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ASTORIA, Ore. — Local party animal Gary Harper plans to celebrate the completion of Dry January with 11 consecutive months…
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Dom Turek
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HIALEAH, Fla. — A new report from local drunk Emily Kinder indicates that the standards of alcoholism held by her…
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Michael Gursky
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CENTER VALLEY, Pa. — A man traveling through time with the intention of preventing childhood trauma made a more pressing…
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Ted Pillow
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Daniel Powers is searching for an acceptable way to find out if his niece’s upcoming birthday…
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Cory Cousins
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PITTSBURGH — Local woman and functional alcoholic Misty Peterson is reportedly in good spirits today, after a week-long hangover stemming…
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Edgar Towner
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First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m…
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