AKRON, Ohio — Attendees at Hamster Death Method’s latest concert felt overwhelmingly “whoo,” per an impromptu survey conducted by the band’s singer, confirmed sources. “I…
CHICAGO — Teenager Liam Mason is desperately holding out hope that Riot Fest’s mystery lineup will include a reunion of his bitterly divorced parents, sympathetic…
LAS VEGAS — Organizers announced that kids’ music legends The Wiggles and Raffi will headline the upcoming When We Were Even Younger festival, confirmed sources.…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Concertgoer Seth Mosley had no choice but to chew off his own foot after it got stuck to the floor in a…
Turnstile used to play real hardcore, man. I don’t know what happened to them. People like to call out their most recent album, Glow On,…
CINCINNATI — Metalhead Tim Grant took off his glasses, let down his ponytail, and shook his hair out, only to look slightly worse than before,…
PHILADELPHIA — Avid Iron & Wine fan Kyle Bennet was recently seen panting in exhaustion after listening to a moderately-paced modern rock song, sources report.…
SAN FRANCISCO — Swedish crankwave band Viagra Boys were rushed to Zuckerberg General Hospital after their latest performance exceeded four hours in length, confirmed concerned…