GREENE, N.Y. — Amateur conservative pundit Gordon Brock found himself in a predicament when none of his friends or family would let him borrow their…
Whatever happened to liberty? What happened to freedom? What happened to the pursuit of happiness in this country, i.e. money off the backs of the…
LOS ANGELES — Brett Wilson, one of millions of uninsured Americans, became concerned that he may not be able to get a duet from a…
NEW YORK — Pioneering California punk band FEAR will appear in this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade now that the 40-year ban assigned by NBC…
SALINA, Kan. — Local nut job and content creator specializing in lawn maintenance Jimmy Dooley is rumored to be the only person in America who…
TALLAHASSEE — Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz issued an impassioned call for Governor Ron DeSantis to revoke his ban on mask mandates early this morning in…
SACRAMENTO — The citizens of California overwhelmingly voted this month to ban acoustic guitarists from rhythmically slapping the low E string every second and fourth…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook purged thousands of user accounts belonging to members of right-wing hate groups last week, but also inadvertently scrubbed user information…
BEIJING — Chinese punks were astonished today after their government officially repealed the long-standing policy of penalizing citizens who play in more than one band,…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California lawmakers passed a sweeping zine control bill today, banning DIY publications capable of being read by more than 10 people per…
BANGOR, Maine — Mayor Chesty the French Bulldog enacted a city-wide ban today on fireworks ahead of Independence Day festivities, citing public safety concerns, environmental…
KANSAS, Okla. — Local eighth grader and moderator for subreddit r/gaming Kris Stevens reportedly felt power coursing through his veins as he banned a user…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook executives held a press conference today to announce that they have banned a far-right, anti-George Soros conspiracy theory page they’d…
NORMAL, Ill. — The recent crackdown on plastic straws across the U.S. has led to a surge in 3D printed drinking paraphernalia, according to a…
FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the negative stereotypes of aggressive temperament…