CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local millennial Jacob Horwitz felt nostalgic for a time when corporate rental giant Blockbuster moved into his town and destroyed his aunt…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the recognition for his horrendous views…
PRINEVILLE, Ore. — Aging punk Jeff Nunes, best known in his hometown for shooting a bottle rocket out of his ass in 2003, has deemed…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Despite having passed away months ago, local woman Allie Larkin’s aunt Sandra Kelly is reportedly still sending Larkin regular requests to…