CHICAGO – Lonely woman Autumn Jones-Blackburn was reportedly trying to simulate human contact as she pulled her old hoodie out of the dryer and immediately…
MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he churned out some truly masturbatory…
CHICAGO — Local man Shaun Clemens is reportedly planning to spend St. Patrick’s Day in his usual leprechaun costume, drinking alone in his room this…
CAMDEN, N.J. — A green Bic lighter still hasn’t given up hope that it will one day no longer be absentmindedly pocketed by stoners and…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Local Publix shopper Wesley Clemons removed his protective face mask this morning after realizing that no one else in the grocery store…
BOISE, Idaho — Local woman Aniya Searle is sadly spending her Valentine’s Day without a significant other with whom to have an argument, several very…
BALTIMORE — Local introvert Katie Pidacter quietly hoped yesterday that no one would remember her birthday this year, in order to avoid the looming pressure…
TACOMA, Wash. — Newlyweds Jane and Dalton Davis opted not to travel home for Thanksgiving, choosing instead to host a “Friendsgiving” and incidentally ensuring they’d…
NEW YORK — Singer/multi-instrumentalist Corey Mathis successfully created the illusion of gang vocals last week by re-recording himself dozens of times, according to the credits…
Today we’re taking a look back on one of the most influential rock albums of all time, Pet Sounds by The Beach boys! Let me…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — Fans attending a punk show at the Screaming Lizard last night encountered a solitary male whose arms appeared to be permanently crossed…
DENVER — Everyone at the Death Head show last night definitely noticed you were there all by yourself, and it was “pretty fucking pathetic,” according…