GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Local woman Carrie Schwalbach’s new boyfriend is nothing more than a reissued edition of her ex with new cover art, disappointing…
TRENTON, N.J. — Seven people were injured at the Starlight Ballroom on Saturday night trying to avoid free albums tossed from the stage by “the…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which five Black Flag songs are…
GREEN BAY, Wis. — Local poser Adam Luis-Meyers narrowly reached the end moments ago of a two-hour long conversation about an album he’s never actually…
LARAMIE, Wyo. — Popular skate-punk band Teenage Bottlerocket are reportedly working on their eighth studio album, which is said to feature their second-ever song, sources…
CLEVELAND — Metalhead Tom Stanza was deeply perplexed yesterday by the ambiguous review of metal band Gorefucker’s newest album Toxic Cum, confused sources confirmed. “First…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Aging punk Archie Simpson was left speechless last night after discovering his 10-year-old cousin ironically listening to an album he considers “life-changing,”…
SAN DIEGO — Local hardcore kid and Terror fan Aidan Bennett purchased a new dental insurance plan yesterday in anticipation of the band’s upcoming release…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Get Up Kids fan Will Landis referred last week to the band’s 1999 release Something to Write Home About as their…
World’s Scariest Police Chases Trying to Make Every Conversation About Them as Difficult as Possible
World’s Scariest Police Chases Trying to Make Every Conversation About Them as Difficult as Possible
PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Pittsburgh punk brats World’s Scariest Police Chases are on a quest to ensure that all discussion about them ends in a confused…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Fans of popular post-punk band Joy Division lined up for hours overnight to pick up a new reissue of the beloved 1979…
LOS ANGELES — Indie rock mainstays The Decemberists’ new album, I’ll Be Your Girl, will be shipped with a syllabus, complete with required reading and…
PITTSBURGH — High school English teacher Dennis Schneider disregarded yesterday’s lesson on George Orwell’s dystopian classic 1984 in favor of “rocking the hell out” to…
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues when subjected to the unrealistic…
SCRANTON, Penn. — Indie-rock band The Menzingers announced today the release of their latest project, Life in Right Field: a concept album about coaching Little League…