TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida’s state legislature is once again making waves nationwide after changing their official state bird from the Northern mockingbird to a parrot…
Opinion: Let’s See That Thirteen Year Old Who Beat Tetris Fit My 12-Piece Drum Set In My Ford Fiesta
Opinion: Let’s See That Thirteen Year Old Who Beat Tetris Fit My 12-Piece Drum Set In My Ford Fiesta
I bet you think you’re a big man now, don’t you? But guess what, just because you are the first and only person in human…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Jack White, formerly of the White Stripes, was spotted outside of the Shady Maple Smorgasbord receiving treatment by EMTs after suffering second-degree…
NEW YORK — Local entertainment ticketing conglomerate Ticketmaster was inexplicably able to charge a $7.99 service fee for each MTA rider who saw Green Day…
PITTSBURGH — Trailblazing tattoo artist, entrepreneur, and fourth-grade student, Sammy “Slugman” Sluggins opened up a discreet semi-permanent Sharpie-based tattoo shop in a tunnel located on…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local musician Garrett Thompson’s attempt to explore diverse music genres resulted in five uniquely terrible solo projects which were met with embarrassment…
AKRON, Ohio — Local post-punk band Blaque Tye started a Patreon page last week as part of an esoteric sexual humiliation fetish, in which their…
EUGENE, Ore. — Leo Radler, a bartender at local pub The Swampland, is completely unaware that many of the regular patrons of his place of…
Oh no. No, no, no. This is bad. You gotta help me! Here’s the backstory. I told my idiot friend Carl that his overpriced Chase…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — A new app called Sentry is being labeled as the industry’s “Indie Shazam” and is capable of identifying a song and…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Conservative voters immediately opted to burn books to warm up at the Iowa Caucus due to record low temperatures before considering…
SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — Local woman Ashley Harris refused to answer her bank’s security question this week claiming the prompt “What was your favorite band…
I’ll be honest. Growing up, I never saw myself as an iconic singer-songwriter. Winning a ton of Grammy Awards, being inducted into the Rock and…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Current occupants of notorious punk house Shitshow Chateau revealed that their resident pitbull Hammer is the only inhabitant that has not bitten…
How to Explain to Your Parents that They Don’t Need to Comment on Every Facebook Post They See
The way our parents engage on Facebook with the same excitement and wonder as we did in the mid-2000s is adorable. Though it’s now largely…