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Man Who Experienced Ego Death Sure Loves Flaunting It

COLUMBIA, Mo. — Local psychedelic enthusiast Sam Roscoe, 27, is reportedly seizing every given opportunity to flaunt his ego death as an exercise in parading his newfound humility, confirmed multiple sources tired of the subject.

“I used to be so insufferable before the ego death I had during my most recent trip,” said Roscoe. “I was like a big walking ego, seeking validation from everyone around me. But now? I’ve ascended to a level of modesty so profound that you probably can’t even comprehend it. Think like the Buddha but with better hair. No longer am I confined to my own perspective. I’m one with the world now, in the sense that I plan on sharing this story with everyone in it.”

Roscoe’s longtime friend, Carson Clover, detailed the noticeable shift in Roscoe’s behavior after his psychedelic experience.

“His ego was definitely more dead before he took the shrooms,” said Clover. “Or perhaps his ego did die, only to be immediately reincarnated as a giant flashing neon sign that follows him everywhere. I cannot stop him from talking about how enlightened and empathetic he is, and trying to convince me to drop acid with him because I need to ‘get on his spiritual level.’ All I know is that a brave soul needs to slay his ego once and for all. Just do us all a favor and put the damn thing out of its misery, for my sake.”

Dr. Janine Park, a psychiatrist specializing in psychedelic therapy, offered her insights into the phenomenon of ego death.

“Psychedelic experiences can be profound and transformative,” explained Dr. Park. “But you must always be careful, lest you risk becoming what we in the industry refer to as ‘enlightenment bros–’ individuals who use their spiritual experiences not as a means of growth, but as bragging rights to their buddies and a chance to rack up karma on r/shrooms. Mr. Roscoe’s situation is quite unfortunate, really; it’s like watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon, only to realize it is still, in fact, a teeny little caterpillar.”

At press time, witnesses were stunned as Roscoe held a funeral for his ego, complete with fireworks, in a public park.