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As an Optimist, I Have To Believe That the Coronavirus Has Killed at Least a Few Nazis

It’s really tough to look at the state of the world today and see anything positive in it. With the COVID-19 pandemic showing no sign of stopping, it can be easy to get discouraged. But as an optimist, to me, there is one silver lining we can all look to and feel a little bit better about our world: at least a few of the people killed by COVID were fucking Nazis.

Statistically, that has to be true, right? Nearly one hundred and seventy thousand people have died in the United States alone. It’s more than likely some of them were alt-right, fascist pieces of shit. In fact, it’s probably more than likely considering that a lot of the current neo-nazis still trying to suck Hitler’s mummified gerbil cock are the same dumbfuck conspiracy theory shitheels refusing to wear masks in public. Hell, I’d be in favor of more klan rallies if it means more of those racist hate clowns end up six feet under.

I don’t mean to dance on anyone’s grave here. That would be irresponsible. I’ll get around to it once we have a vaccine.

Any loss of human life should be considered a tragedy. That said, if that tragedy befell someone who actively supports the oppression of marginalized and vulnerable communities then they probably fucking deserve it. Sorry, that was insensitive. I meant someone who supported oppression. May they rest in peace, I guess. Whatever. As long as they’re dead.

So what can we take away from all this? Well, the fact that literal Nazis still exist definitely isn’t good. Also, the fact that this global health crisis is still raging is, to put it lightly, a bit of a downer. But if you’re someone like me who always tries to look on the bright side of things, then maybe there is a little comfort to be had in the idea that, of all the pointless deaths that have been caused by this pandemic, some of them happened to people who absolutely deserved it.

 

I’m also willing to bet a couple of pedophiles died too. Cheers!

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