Are you someone who enjoys listening to both ska and punk genres simultaneously? Then you’re probably not one of the dozens of angry bikers at this bar right now. They are absolutely furious and won’t stop staring with a deranged homicidal look in their eyes. Maybe putting an hour and a half’s worth of ska punk songs on the jukebox was ill-advised. That being said, here are the top 30 ska punks that are going to get us murdered here any minute now. (Listen to the playlist while you read, click here.)
30. Mad Caddies “Road Rash” (1998)
If you’re going to play 80 bucks worth of ska punk on a jukebox surrounded by motorcycle enthusiasts, you should really throw on “Bad to the Bone” here and there to offset the relentless horn sections that are paired with guitar distortion and upbeat rhythm. Just some advice for the next time you’re in a biker bar and have a deep hankering for Mad Caddies, but want to make it out relatively unscathed.
29. Slapstick “There’s a Metal Head in the Parking Lot” (1997)
The alarming amount of Harley Davidsons outside the establishment and lack of checkerboard patterns inside should’ve been a dead giveaway that this bar is not going to appreciate the lesser known bands from the ska punk genre like Slapstick. Lesson learned.
28. Catbite “Not Ur Baby” (2021)
Anyone can look beyond one ska punk song on the jukebox. Two is pushing it. But this third Catbite one is enough to send this entire biker bar into a “fight or flight” response. Unfortunately, they are clearly leaning toward the “fight” part of that, so I have already ocularly marked every exit in this bar for when my “flight” response inevitably takes over.
27. Big D and the Kids Table “L.a.X.” (2004)
I’d really hate to see the look on everyone’s faces if I played regular ska this whole time. If you think about it, I really did them a favor by playing Big D and the Kids Table instead of SKA ska. No one seems to appreciate this though.
26. The Hippos “Lost It” (1999)
Listening to The Hippos always makes it feel like you are about to get knocked unconscious and left in a ditch somewhere on the side of the road only to be found hours later without shoes. Wait, maybe that’s only in biker bars. Hard to tell for sure.
25. Kill Lincoln “Good Riddance to Good Advice” (2018)
In theory, nearly three dozen ska punk songs, including Kill Lincoln, should’ve been a nice change of pace from the normal ‘70s classic rock thing they were playing. I guess people who ride motorcycles do not operate “in theory.”
24. JER “BOTHERED” (2022)
Ska punk feels like a genre that genuinely wants you to be happy as a human being in a world that is otherwise full of suffering. This is what I try to tell myself while I am currently in a headlock from a guy who simply goes by “Dirt.”
23. The Best of the Worst “Illusion of Choice” (2020)
The bar appears to be confused at this one. The hardcore elements seem to make the bikers feel almost indifferent at best to the music, but the trumpets appear to undo any progress we had at avoiding a thorough beating in the back alley. We were close though.
22. Bomb the Music Industry! “Syke! Life is Awesome!” (2005)
This one starts off relatively low-key for a ska punk song, but gradually gets more unhinged and trumpet-intensive as it goes, which only seems to anger the bikers. Luckily there are only about 20ish more tracks to go.
21. Save Ferris “Come on Eileen” (1997)
Covers of famous songs can really be hit or miss. This one is a hit. At least with ska fans. Not so much with the demographic whose favorite movie is presumably “Easy Rider.”
20. Against All Authority “All Fall Down” (1998)
Starting to think this bar doesn’t even like the punk part of ska punk either. Typically, ska punk fans are just ska fans who are embarrassed to be associated with ska. Against All Authority is perfect for these undercover ska fans.
19. Mustard Plug “Go” (1997)
Looks like a few of the bikers at this bar surprisingly seem to enjoy this one. After all, this genre can be fun if you allow yourself to experience lighthearted pleasure. But on closer inspection, they were just maniacally laughing while discussing the best way to murder someone without receiving jail time. The feeling of your music taste validated was nice while it lasted.
18. Voodoo Glow Skulls “El Coo Coi” (1995)
Voodoo Glow Skulls surprisingly sounds like a band name this bar can get behind, and the art on this album cover is literally a bug-eyed freak riding a motorcycle. But not even these two elements are enough to appease bikers. This bunch is hard to please.
17. Skankin’ Pickle “Rest of the World” (1996)
When listening to ska, you are instinctively tempted to use the word “skank” in conversation. Whatever you do, do not do that at a bar that is cash only. Save that for more credit and debit card-friendly establishments.
16. We Are The Union “I Am Like John Cusack…” (2009)
Correct me if I’m wrong, but there are exactly zero ska punk songs in “Sons of Anarchy.” Not even any regular ska tracks for that matter. It’s the one thing missing from fictional outlaw motorcycle clubs. Real ones too.
15. The Specials “Little Bitch” (1979)
Sure, The Specials are a bit of a stretch to be placed under the ska punk umbrella even though this song rules. But you try explaining that to an angry biker who just did that thing where he broke a beer bottle on a table and held it three inches from my jugular. Thought they only did that in movies.
14. Sublime “Same In The End” (1996)
The lyric “I’m a triple rectified-ass son of a bitch” seems like a sentiment this crowd could really get behind. After all, it feels like it could be a lyric in the song “Born to Be Wild,” which as we all know is one of five songs bikers listen to.
13. Catch 22 “1234 1234” (1998)
Don’t you just hate it when a song starts out completely different than it ends up being and then out of nowhere there are three minutes at the end of the track where the band talks nonsense in the background? Yeah, bikers do too. A lot.
12. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones “The Impression That I Get” (1997)
This one leans more on the ska side, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Unless of course you are already 20 songs deep on your ska punk-fueled jukebox picks, and the entire bar wants to see you dead or at least quietly leave without making a scene. And then die outside.
11. NOFX “All Outta Angst” (1997)
I’m not sure exactly what the Hells Angels listen to, but I imagine it’s just “The Boys Are Back in Town” on repeat for several hours. No room for this trumpet-laden, ska-concentrated NOFX one. What a shame.
10. The Interrupters “She’s Kerosene” (2018)
This is the part of the block of our songs where one of the bikers unplugged the jukebox. Luckily, we know how outlets work and plugged it right back in. We need to get our money’s worth and Interrupters shall not be denied by people who look like they fist fight to pass the time.
9. Streetlight Manifesto “9mm and a Three Piece Suit” (2006)
It’s not uncommon for someone to tell you that that certain music once “saved their life.” However, ska punk seems to have the opposite effect at biker bars and will probably be the exact reason for my premature demise.
8. The Arrogant Sons of Bitches “So Let’s Go Nowhere” (2006)
The sign outside this bar had the word “freedom” written on it with aggressively giant letters. But the looks on everyone’s faces in this bar are making me realize that their version of freedom does not extend to Jeff Rosenstock music in public spaces.
7. Less Than Jake “Johnny Quest Thinks We’re Sellouts” (1996)
Good luck trying to explain to a crowd of bikers that they are currently listening to a band called Less Than Jake. They will have several follow-up questions about this band name that not even the realest ska punk fans will know the answer to. Once again, we disappoint.
6. Goldfinger “Superman” (1998)
This song is best played on a nice sunny day in July on your way to the mall Applebee’s to split a round of mozzarella sticks with your best friends. It just doesn’t have the same effect in this dimly lit bar that somehow still allows smoking indoors and only offers bowls of peanuts for snacks. Don’t they know all ska fans have various nut allergies?
5. The Suicide Machines “New Girl” (1996)
“New Girl” starts off strong and potentially could win over this bar thanks to its traditionally more heavier opening sound. But about 11 seconds in starts the violently ska upstroke guitar-playing, which has only seemed to ruin any chance to befriend anyone here. Ska punk is notoriously deceptive like that.
4. Rancid “Time Bomb” (1995)
Rancid once wrote a song called “Motorcycle Ride” and Tim Armstrong’s tattoo on the top of his head and chaotic beard make him look like a biker, so I’m confused as to why this crowd would much prefer to listen to an Allman Brothers song while fracturing my ribs with a poolstick. I just don’t get it.
3. Reel Big Fish “Sell Out” (1996)
Reel Big Fish wrote this satirical take about selling out for corporate profits. If anyone would understand this sentiment it’s people who drive vehicles that produce unnecessarily loud motor sounds when you’re trying to sleep in on a Saturday morning.
2. Fishbone “The Warmth of Your Breath” (1993)
Fishbone are whole bunch of genres in one. Two of those genres are ska and punk. You would think a group of people who ride their motorcycles with their hands two feet above their head on the handlebar would be able to endure all 90 minutes of ska punk on the jukebox, including legends like Fishbone. Boy, was that a hard no.
1. Operation Ivy “Sound System” (1989)
Operation Ivy really took the ska punk genre to another level. They went on to influence tons of groups too, which means, if it weren’t for Op Ivy, we’d potentially be able to leave this bar without any black eyes or broken bones. Please never reunite. For my health’s sake.