PHILADELPHIA– A local dive bar is making sure all customers are made aware of their payment policy with a helpful “Cash Only” sign handwritten on…
Oh Fuck: The Bad To The Bone Guitar Riff Started Playing As That Bearded Guy Entered the Room
Me and the boys were just hanging out at our favorite dive bar like we do every night. Playing some cards, drinking some beer, and…

Kinda Spooky I Guess: The Band We Came To See at This Dive Bar Broke up 30 Years Ago This Very Night
Our tour van broke down in one of that small town full of secrets/Twin Peaksy type places. We had to wait till morning for our…
Dive Bar Toilet Thinking About Finally Getting Clean
PITTSBURGH — The men’s room toilet at Skelly’s Tavern is seeking treatment after going through a dark period and hopes this is the year it…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Struggling punk band Sucks To Be You revealed that they were at wits’ end after years of living drink ticket to drink…
Venue Requires Proof of Shower Before Entry
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local venue Breezy Steve’s Beer Barn now requires attendees to show proof of showering before they enter the venue, according to sources…
Man Asks Person on Other Side of Glory Hole If They’re Vaccinated
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area gay bar to inquire if…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bouncer Frank DeGarge confirmed today that he is forced to cover up any non-tattooed parts of his body before clocking in…
We Swapped All the Malört at This Bar With Piss-Flavored Gasoline and No One Said Anything
Have you ever wanted to drink licorice-flavored varnish? Or perhaps floor cleaner garnished with dirt and earthworms? If so, you’re in luck, you little weirdo,…
Green Room Actually Beige Curtain
CHICAGO — Touring band The Cheap Seats were annoyed to find that the promised green room at their next venue was actually just a beige…
We Visit This Legendary Punk Bar Because Our Credit Card Was Stolen and That’s Where All the Charges Were From
Black Flag, Bad Brains, Fugazi, and just about every other legendary punk band has played this DC bar since its opening in 1980. Not to…
Hardcore Guy’s and Metal Guy’s Eyes Meet as They Both Yell “Go!” While At The Gates Plays
BALTIMORE — Hardcore music aficionado Steve Settler and metalhead Jasyn Moore shared a tender moment when they simultaneously yelled “Go!” while listening to “Slaughter of…
COVID-19 Least Dangerous Thing in Reopened Dive Bar
QUEENS, N.Y. — Patrons of neighborhood dive The Rowdy Owl discovered yesterday that potentially contracting COVID-19 was the least dangerous part of the recently reopened…
Headliner Really Just Playing Last
EUGENE, Ore. — Indie outfit Southbreather headlined local dive bar The Sour Patch Tuesday night after booker Joe Hermann asked the group if they wouldn’t…
Dive Bar Renovations Include Pinball and That’s It
SEATTLE — Local dive bar the Sunken Gristle reopened yesterday after a three-month renovation period, with one modest change: a single pinball machine, and nothing…