Press "Enter" to skip to content

Guy at Black Metal Show Does Quick Google Search To Make Sure Band Aren’t Nazis Before Heading to Merch Table

ELGIN, Ill. – Local metalhead and black metal show attendee Derek Straub found himself conducting a quick Google search of band Vindfull Skog before walking to their merch table to purchase a shirt, eyewitness sources reported.

“There’s a bunch of bands playing today, so I don’t really know anything about these guys,” Straub offered. “I’m really enjoying their sound, though. They kind of remind me of old Darkthrone, but with a lot of really cool arpeggios that sound like Ulver’s ‘Nattens Madrigal’ album. But when I glanced at their merch, I instinctively took out my phone to Google ‘Vindfull Skog Nazis’ before heading over there. Trust me, if you’re at all into black metal, you know how problematic the genre is on the whole, which is surprising given it’s largely comprised of Tolkien-worshiping geeks. This is a necessary precaution.”

Band manager Sverre Tveirtag noticed Straub from across the venue.

“I saw this guy appearing to enjoy the band before looking over in my direction. Then he took out his phone and I knew exactly what he was doing,” Tveirtag said. “When you’ve been involved in black metal as long as I have, it becomes second nature to double-check whether a band is problematic before buying their merch. I still cringe when I remember the time I put on an old Burzum shirt without thinking before heading to a party. Luckily, I’ve also done my research on Vindfull Skog, and they’re fine. I learned my lesson from my brief stint managing Peste Noire.”

Music Merchandiser Carol Irwin provided insight into the situation.

“I can personally attest to the negative effect that sketchy behavior exhibited by so many black metal artists has on merch sales,” Irwin noted. “I have access to figures that show a direct negative correlation between an artist doing or saying something suspicious or even downright bigoted and the resulting revenue change. A band can be the hottest thing on the black metal scene, then boom: their lead singer does a Hitler salute at a festival in Germany. It can be an absolute nightmare for those of us employed to smooth out profit margins with our merch distributors.”

At press time, Straub had wandered over to a nearby merch tent and purchased an Inquisition shirt because he liked the artwork, figuring any further preliminary research would be unnecessary.