SEATTLE — Friar Radcliffe drummer Daniel McCleary was allegedly annoyed late last night by the persistent bashing of his floor tom by frontman Jeffrey Wilderman during the entirety of their headlining set, multiple sources confirmed.
“I’m pretty confident I have the whole ‘being the drummer’ thing under control,” said McCleary in between songs. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he used his own sticks… but he insists on wrestling one out of my hand mid-beat. Then, once he’s done fucking me up, he just throws my stick off to the side. I had to play half a song with a marker I had in my pocket.”
However, Wilderman believes his on-stage antics add to the intensity of the band’s live shows.
“I fancy myself a renaissance man of sorts, what with my emotive floor tom playing… it’s like that of the frescos decorating the Sistine Chapel,” said Wilderman, annotating a book of Robert Frost poems. “Danny’s back there, and, yeah, he keeps good time… but is he having a good time? Without me, this band is nothing more than four talented musicians playing their chosen instruments competently.”
Other band members confirmed Wilderman has dabbled in their instruments at Friar Radcliffe shows, too.
“Sometimes, during instrumental breaks, he’ll walk up behind me, yank the capo off my guitar, and lay his index finger over the strings instead,” said guitarist Alicia Lisbon, wiping her fretboard of bourbon stains left by the band’s frontman. “Our keyboard player quit after our third show because Jeff kept headbutting the keys and ‘helping.’”
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Unfortunately, McCleary admitted Wilderman’s gratuitous instrumental forays has only elevated his resentment.
“I tolerated the tambourine, the maracas… even the mallet he’d use on my crash cymbal. But he’s going too far,” said McCleary, attempting to tape a drumstick split in half by Wilderman back together. “The most frustrating part — besides playing off-rhythm, and louder than I do — is that I’ve offered to give him lessons for years, but he always turns them down.
“If you’ll excuse me,” McCleary then said, “I’m going to try to move my kit closer to the bass cab, so he can’t fit over here.”
Meanwhile, Wilderman allegedly has plans to build his own percussion setup, which will include a 14-karat gold-encrusted splash cymbal, genuine leather drumming gloves by Armani, and a 12-foot gong dating back to China’s Tang dynasty — all prohibited for McCleary to use.
Photo by Kat Chish.