Press "Enter" to skip to content

DMX Funeral To Include 21-Bark Salute

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Funeral preparations are already underway following the untimely passing of rapper and actor Earl Simmons, better known as DMX, and is expected to feature a ceremonial 21-Bark Salute, sources close to the family confirmed.

“As sad as today is for all of us, I know Earl is in a better place, riding his R3 in paradise, no longer having to deal with the fucking IRS trying to steal all his goddamn money,” said family friend Jamie Easton. “To know his closest friends and family will send him off with a 21-Bark Salute is a celebration of life in the highest honor. We also have Ruff Ryders flag that will be folded up and handed to his next of kin, which I think will be a really nice touch too.”

Funeral organizers are already hard at work to prepare the cemetery grounds in order to give DMX a proper burial.

“In lieu of flowers, Mr. Simmons requested that people drop dog bones onto his casket as they say their final goodbye. We spent most of the morning buying out the inventory at local pet stores in order to make that happen,” said lead planner Anthony Stults. “It was also requested that no cops attend the funeral, and we will absolutely make sure that is enforced. Those pigs won’t step foot near this burial.”

Fans around the world are already submitting videos of themselves barking incessantly for a video montage expected to be played during the ceremony.