Bluesky: It seems like the place on the internet where everyone wants to be right now. “It’s like Twitter, but with less Nazis”, they say.…
SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is still the single most effective…
BOSTON — Local liberal Brian Mullins, who is boycotting any company that he sees as supporting a fascist regime, spends all of his free time…
BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg sparked controversy after claiming that Elon Musk’s botched penis implant “wouldn’t have gone down like that” if he was the attending…
DULUTH, Minn. — The massive tech billionaire-run oligarchy suffered a devastating blow today as local account coordinator and frisbee golf enthusiast, Michael Murray, created an…
BOCA CHICA, Texas — Social pariah and world’s richest man Elon Musk made a staggering donation to a new startup with a mission statement of…
WASHINGTON — The world’s richest man Elon Musk and President-elect Donald Trump are reportedly closer than ever after finding common ground while discussing which of…
BOCA CHICA, Texas — Local businessman and investor Elon Musk presented his clear vision of the future where humanity thought of him as the worst…
WASHINGTON — Closeted Republican politicians across the country breathed a collective sigh of relief following Elon Musk’s announcement that likes on X will no longer…
SAN FRANCISCO — The author of an upcoming biography of Elon Musk found evidence suggesting his obsession with the letter X is due to it…
FREMONT, Calif — Neuralink owner Elon Musk announced Neuralink Premium which will allow anyone using his implantable brain–computer interfaces to maintain basic bodily functions for…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Aging hardcore guy and noted crowd killer Tom Reilly reportedly received a gold X Swatch for his decades-long career as a pit…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local straight edge man Hal Pemulis was arrested and booked into Douglas County Department of Corrections after kicking his fathers ass for…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Funeral preparations are already underway following the untimely passing of rapper and actor Earl Simmons, better known as DMX, and is…
Threads Users Hearing Rumors That Biden Is Considering Dropping Out of Presidential Race
SAN FRANCISCO — Users on the social media platform Threads were recently abuzz with news that President Joe Biden might be considering dropping out of…