30. Sting
Sting would bring up the importance of stretching before, during, and after long stints in the car. While he’s right and my legs haven’t stiffened up once, he’d make us hit every other rest stop to get in a quick yoga session. I think I’d rather deal with the leg cramps.
29. Tony Kanal
The No Doubt bassist would keep thinking my car was one of those self-driving ones while he’s behind the wheel. But the second we hit a guardrail he’d remember pretty quickly that this car was made in the ‘90s, back when computers weren’t even invented yet.
28. Justin Chancellor
Before leaving every diner I’d ask the Tool bassist if he needed to use the bathroom before we hit the road. He’d say no, but then say he has to pee 20 minutes later after we had already left. Justin is alarmingly not in touch with his own bladder, but his fans always talk about how he can pee backward.
27. John Myung
The Dream Theater bassist is going to come in with his own playlist that’s 60 hours long, 40% of which wouldn’t even be music, just various sounds like a babbling brook, a six-minute clip of someone undoing velcro, and whale mating calls. Besides that, he’s pretty chill.
26. Robert Trujillo
Robert would always want to go off-road and I would keep having to remind him that my vehicle doesn’t have all-terrain exploring capabilities. I’d be afraid he’d want to test that out anyway when it’s his turn to drive, so I’ll have to do most of the driving as a defensive tactic.
25. Carol Kaye
Carol is credited for playing bass on an estimated 10,000 recordings and clearly knows a lot about the instrument. She’d probably teach me music theory the whole time inadvertently. And while it’d go in one ear and out the other, I’d appreciate her enthusiasm for an instrument that neither I nor the general public give a shit about.
24. Jeff Ament
The Pearl Jam bass player would want to hit all the national parks on the way. I don’t have the heart to tell him that once you’ve seen one mountain you’ve seen all of them.
23. Jennifer Finch
The L7 bassist would see the check engine light come on and say “It’s probably nothing.” And she would say the same thing when the engine starts smoking soon after and we have to pull over to actually check the engine. I admire her ability to not give a fuck under pressure.
22. Peter Hook
The Joy Division and New Order bassist would want to do all the driving and make me sit in the backseat the entire time. I think it’s a control thing. But at least I don’t have to do any heavy lifting. I’ve been on worse road trips.
21. Kathi Wilcox
The Bikini Kill bassist would only want to listen to podcasts the whole time and she would shush me if I tried to interrupt an episode of “Radiolab.” We haven’t talked in five straight hours, but on the plus side I’m learning a whole lot about toxoplasmosis and parasitic diseases in general.