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We Ranked 50 Drummers Based on How They’d Help Us Survive After the Apocalypse

29. HAIM

The Haim sisters always come as a three-pack, and their drumming skills are limited. But word is their hair is connected and could tie up an entire outlaw gang while you raid its supplies.

28. Roger Taylor

The Queen stickman might not be the “killer” he was in 1974, but he’d tell you campfire stories about Freddie and the early drug-sex parties. Come through, Roger.

27. Dennis Chambers

The P-Funk legend can do it all: groove, funk, thrash, stab, bite, brain, ravage, decapitate, garote, glut, vitiate . . . He can also play quiet.

26. Caroline Corr

Remember the Corrs? Their drummer would shove a bodrán over somebody’s head and play a piccolo at their rushed burial. She does it in 2005’s Live in Geneva.

25. Dana Carvey

Party on, Garth. Carvey would take on the role of “dehydrated, diminished vagabond” with great zeal. Plus, if you get stopped by some sort of makeshift zombie border patrol, he could impersonate former Presidential candidate Ross Perot. Zombies love Perot.

24. Meg White

A total dark horse, White would be just the low-profile teammate you need and, as with her kit, she’d travel light. You could hike all day and turn around and she’d be there. Word is she’s good at sharing canned beans.

23. Jimmy Chamberlain

Somehow his old addiction would prove useful. The Smashing Pumpkins and Zwan drummer’s been through it all, and looks like he’s still going through it. He could probably wait to eat until you got up that hill.

22. Nine Inch Nails’ Drum Machine

Kind of clunky to lug around but would provide excellent battle music. Ask Trent about the blood-proof version.

21. Vinnie Colaiuta

He’d make the small jump from “session musician” to “assassination musician” with relative ease. This man has killed before, just look at his glasses.

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