39. Faye Miller
Faye’s strategy was to advertise cigarettes in a way that leaned into how dangerous they were, playing on the innate death impulse of consumers. It sounds crazy, but it also really makes us want a cigarette, so I guess she’s on to something?
38. Joyce Ramsay
She reminds us of our high school days, sneaking smokes in the parking lot with artsy closeted lesbians.
37. Adam Whitman
All Adam wanted was a relationship with his long-lost older brother, but all he got was an envelope full of cash to go fuck off. All we want is a cigarette and we are flat broke.
36. Stan Rizzo
If the idea of winding up with Peggy doesn’t make you want to chain smoke congratulations, you’re immune to addiction.
35. Glen Bishop
We were given our first cigarette by a kid pretty much exactly like Glen. There was this crazy rumor that the dude died after eating an entire sheet of acid and jumping off a building, but he actually died of a congenital heart condition.
34. Trudy Campbell
Trudy is too perfect. As soon as she walks into a room you feel pressured to live up to an impossibly high standard. How does Pete not smoke?
33. Gene Hofstadt
Open up a fresh pack of Lucky Strikes, kick back, and let Grandpa Gene tell you all about what it was like to see the light go out of a man’s eyes in The Great War.
32. Carla
If we had to work for Betty just one day we would be off the wagon in a heartbeat. We can’t even imagine how frustrating it would be to get notes on how you make the bed, fold the sheets, or clean the toilet.
31. Katherine Olson
Guilt-tripping moms are the third leading cause of nicotine dependency in the United States, it’s a fact.
30. Francine Hanson
All we really see Betty’s BFF do is smoke and gossip. One look at her and we just want to light up and dish.
29. Michael Ginsberg
Ginsberg doesn’t smoke, but I think we can all agree he has even less healthy ways of relieving “pressure.”
28. Dawn Chambers
Being the first black woman to work in the offices of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is a lot of pressure. Plus she’s working directly with Don, a walking talking ad for smoking.
27. Arnold Rosen
In all of our fantasies about being cucked by Don Draper we are chain-smoking and crying.
26. Ken Cosgrove
Ken’s trajectory on the show is kind of a metaphor for what smoking does to you over time. You start out all young hip and cheery but in a few short years, you’re disfigured and yelling at everyone. It shouldn’t make us want one. God nicotine is evil.
25. Richard Burghoff
If he got Joan to do coke he can get you to have a smoke.
24. Jim Cutler
He’s like Roger without the charm, which is to say an incredibly disgusting human being. He doesn’t smoke, and that makes us want to.
23. Duck Phillips
Sure he smokes like a chimney, but he had to quit drinking and his name is Duck so LAY OFF!
22. Lane Pryce
Lane doesn’t need to smoke, he has other ways of dealing with the stresses of the ad game, like punching Pete Campbell or hanging himself in his office. Maybe he should have smoked.
21. Gail Holloway
Joan’s overbearing mother is always on her case and lecturing her about how women behaved when she was young. It reminds us of dealing with our own mother, and nothing makes you want to smoke more than that.