Florida is America’s punchline. And for the most part rightfully so since it has given us so many awful things and deserves the mockery. But every once in a while something good and decent actually emerges from that swampy, sinking bastion of ignorance. And one of those somethings is Gainesville’s own Hot Water Music.
Their southern-twinged, blue-collar punk anthems have been striking nerves with the bearded and the disaffected since 1994 and they show no signs of letting up and are perhaps even more popular now than ever. In fact, you can almost guarantee that one of their songs is being played at a craft brewery as we speak.
Well, we let our beards grow in (as best as we could) threw on our best dirty trucker hats, and took on the impossible task of ranking all eleven of Hot Water Music’s albums. Prepaaaarre yourselllllff!
11. The New What Next (2004)
So unfortunately every album ranking needs to start with a “worst” and for HWM their worst happened in 2004. Everything about this album screams early mid-2000s including the throw-a-bunch-of-shit-at-the-wall cover artwork. The defining characteristic of “The New What Next” is how forgettable it is. Even after multiple listens you will struggle to hum any one of these songs. Meanwhile, that fucking Ozempic commercial jingle plays in your brain on a loop 24/7, doesn’t it?
Play it again: “The End Of The Line”
Skip it: “The Ebb And Flow”
10. Finding the Rhythms (1995)
Look, every band has its humble, possibly embarrassing beginnings. (Except for Black Sabbath, they were perfect from the get-go.) There’s really nothing terrible or egregious here (except at times a few possibly out-of-tune guitars) but they do fall into some well-tread punk pitfalls like using THAT ONE CHORD PROGRESSION in “Counting Numbers” that everyone used in the ‘90s. You know the one… It’s in Green Day’s “When I Come Around” and also in like every other Green Day song.
Play it again: “The Passing”
Skip it: “Practice In Blue”
9. Light It Up (2017)
They really leaned into the grizzled boxcar hopper style vocals on Light It Up but overall it just seems to settle into a comfortable mid-paced, mid-energy slump. What it’s lacking in oomph it attempts to make up for with a bunch of “WHOA-OHs” but to little avail. If you were on a really long road trip with your dad this would be an album you could throw on that neither of you would be offended by while also being disappointed by it. Like a perfect analogy of your relationship.
Play it again: “Bury Your Idols”
Skip it: “Light It Up”
8. Fuel for the Hate Game (1997)
The first of two albums they would release in 1997. And this one is really the rougher, less polished, less gooder one. They had all the ingredients there but they just seemed to take the cake out of the oven a little too early. Also instead of using sugar, they used rock salt. And they either finished it with either too much or too little frosting and then topped it off with fucking walnuts. Yeah, this cake metaphor isn’t working as well as we planned but it’s almost lunchtime and we all have low blood sugar around here.
Play it again: “Elektra”
Skip it: “Rock Singer”
7. Exister (2012)
Hot Water Music entered the third phase of their career in 2012. After an 8-year hiatus since the somewhat lackluster “The New What Next” they returned with a more polished sound and with a smidge of adult-contemporary rock sensibilities. While not exactly becoming household names they definitely reached a wider audience with Exister and even people like the guy in your office who always wears a Patagonia vest probably know “Drag My Body.”
Play it again: “Drag My Body”
Skip it: “No End Left In Sight”
6. VOWS (2024)
Usually, when a band that has been around for multiple decades announces a new album it is met with extreme apathy because let’s face it, most bands sound like a shadow of their former selves after that many years *cough* Green Day *cough*. And while this maybe isn’t their best the fact that it sits comfortably in the midway spot in this ranking proves that in 2024 they’ve still got it and are not just embarrassing themselves *cough* Rancid *cough*.
Play it again: “Fences”
Skip it: “Bury Us All”
5. A Flight and a Crash (2001)
“A Flight and a Crash” is such a perfect name for this album, and not just because it came out a few months before the 9/11 attacks. It starts out really strong with the tile track, “Jack Of All Trades”, and “Paper Thin” all being absolute ragers and exactly what you want from the Gainesville boys. Unfortunately, once you get about halfway through the album it starts to feel like the engines have lost power and this baby is going down. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride. Best you can hope for is a water landing.
Play it again: “Jack Of All Trades” or really just the first half up to “Choked and Separated”
Skip it: The second half
4. Feel The Void (2022)
It doesn’t even seem possible that a band almost thirty years into their career can release an album this good. So many gut-wrenching singalong anthems to scream into the void and to air punch to. Just take it easy, okay? You might want to do some light stretching and pop a few extra strength Advil first. Also, that clicking sound in your shoulder doesn’t sound good. Might want to call a doctor about that.
Play it again: “Collect Your Things And Run,” “Killing Time”
Skip it: Pretending you’re still young and spry
3. Caution (2002)
Caution seems to top the list for many a Hot Water Music fan’s favorite album. And it really is great. It’s just at this point in this ranking the advantages of one album over another are razor-thin and maybe we just have more discerning tastes over here. There is a sunshiney brightness to these songs making it one of their most upbeat and accessible. Like if they ever get tapped to have a song in a car commercial this would be the album it would come from.
Play it again: “Trusty Chords,” “Wayfarer”
Skip it: “We’ll Say Anything We Want”
2. No Division (1999)
Arguably their most raw and emotional album. Songs like “Rooftops” and “Driving Home” hit you right in the feels (Do people still say that? Felt a little gross to say honestly) Every aspect of what makes Hot Water Music so memorable is here and at their peak powers. Doesn’t hurt that it was produced by Walter Schreifels also. This would be the last of what you could call the classic HWM sound. They would start to explore more pop aspects after this.
Play it again: “Free Radio Gainesville,” “It’s Hard To Know,” “Our Own Way”
Skip it: “Jet Set Ready“
1. Forever and Counting (1997)
Uh-oh, we may have just lost a lot of you with this one. And yeah, this album seems to be divisive, and even the band members themselves disavow it and refuse to play any of the songs live anymore. But before you get your beards all tied up in a knot, consider this – you’re all wrong. This album is fucking perfect. I mean, you listen to punk, right? Better Sense? Just Don’t Say You Lost It? Minno? Come. The. Fuck. On. Are the dueling vocals always precisely timed? No. Is the songwriting or production sanitary and alt-rock radio-friendly? No. But it is somehow still perfect. If this album being #1 makes you lose your temper that’s ok, just don’t say you lost it.
Play it again: Every perfectly flawed second
Skip it: Being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian