30. Nosferatu
A star of foreign films, Nosferatu, (real name, Count Dracula, stage name, Count Orlok) is generally in support of unions. He just doesn’t understand why the U.S. doesn’t have better worker protections anyway. Or, for that matter, summer vacations and paternity leave for its workers. He would be out striking, he’d really like to, but unfortunately, most of the strikes are happening in broad daylight and since the studio execs cleared away the tree branches, that’s been very difficult for a member of the vampire community.
29. Dr. Gilliam
You can tell Dr. Gilliam is a conservative. You can just tell. And he’s normally not the type to support strong unions, but, he’s treated enough injuries from unsafe sets over the years to understand this is bigger than his personal belief and keeps his mouth shut.
28. Old Man Jenkins
He doesn’t understand the strikes, per se, but he supports them nonetheless. Kind of like when his granddaughter told him she was pansexual. Hell, some days he wonders if he might be a little pansexual himself.
27. Art Appraiser
He supports the strikes, but he’s actually one of the more malevolent SAF-AFTRA members. He’s happy that the barrier of entry is so high. He’s happy the insurance costs so much. He wishes it cost more. This man is a gatekeeper.
26. Reg
The bouncer at the Salty Spitoon, Reg is the type of guy who thinks that writing is “weak” and actors are “pussies.” He doesn’t care about the strike beyond that, any which way or the other.
25. The Rock Bottom Residents
These are the people that are, for whatever reason, are awake from the hours of 6 p.m. to 10 a.m. every day. They work from home filling out surveys and do nothing but watch Adult Swim re-runs at all hours. They know nothing outside of Toonami and their inner monologue sounds like Dr. Steve Brule. They neither know, nor do they care, about the strikes. But if, for whatever reason, it slowed down their ability to watch Adult Swim content, they’d go absolutely insane
24. Flats
Flats the Flounder is the Chet Hanks of the SpongeBob Squarepants universe.
23. The Cyclops
He’s one of the ones who got paid to go and trim the tree branches so the strikers would have no shade. If anyone asks him why he’s doing it he uses a leaf blower to kick up dust and dirt all over their sweaty faces.
22. The Guy Who Built the 7-Mile Spanking Machine
There’s no way this weird little freak wouldn’t have been canceled a long time ago. You can’t do shit like this anymore.
21. Girly Teengirl
A young ingenue, new in Hollywood and eager to prove herself. She’ll cross the line the first film role she’s offered just to shake the dust of small-town Iowa off her shoes. She doesn’t know better. She hasn’t even heard of the strikes. She doesn’t know she’s doing wrong. But still… she’ll be blacklisted soon enough and back waiting tables at an Iowa Denny’s, thinking about what might’ve been. She’ll probably join the alt-right after a few years.