VIRGINIA BEACH, Virg. – Wedding season is in full swing, which means one thing: The nation’s punks are struggling with their wardrobe choices. But one…
SPOKANE, Wash. – After resigning from her post as president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the N.A.A.C.P due to a highly publicized scandal regarding…
DULUTH, Minn. – With the whole house to himself, 30-year-old Mark Carson suffered a severe facial laceration after a sing-along mishap in the kitchen of his suburban…
ORLEANS, Mass. – Ticket holder Nick Cascarella made a desperate attempt to appear to be busy on his phone upon arriving to a show hours…
LOS ANGELES — New York native and recently unfrozen caveman, from the Homo Elitus subspecies known simply as Ugg, admitted to missing the way the scene used…
GAINESVILLE, Florida – Unencumbered by any logical thought process, local show promoter Matt Kimball came up with an idea for fixing a double-booked Saturday evening…
THE COUCH — Local punk rock fan and avid Facebook user Jeremy Germ announced today that he is “maybe” attending 67 shows this weekend. Despite…
PYONGYANG, North Korea – Kim Jong-Un, leader of The Workers Party of Korea, shocked the western world when he announced himself as the new supreme lead…
SEATTLE – Corporate coffee giant Starbucks opened their newest retail location directly in the heart of a mosh pit currently happening inside the Phoenix Theater. Starbucks CEO…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – After shaving his thinning crown for the first time, balding punk Justin Morris proudly declared that he is apparently a skinhead…
BOSTON – Self-described “hardcore kid” Jared Mahoney came to the realization that he is ready to enter the “liking hockey” phase of his life while watching…
AUSTIN, Texas – A Southside man has loudly declared his intentions to not have any fun at tonight’s Krum Bums show. Derek Miller, 47, has successfully…
CANOGA PARK, Calif. – Recently-retired member of the punk community David Gorman insists the local scene died at the exact same time he stopped going to…
JERUSALEM— Nardwuar, the Human Serviette, known for his well-researched interviews and thoughtful gifts for his interviewees shocked his latest subject, Jesus Christ, with the original…
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – It was a star-studded affair in Los Angeles last night when dozens of punk and metal legends joined to roast former Misfits…