TIGARD, Ore. — Reports indicate that urban sprawl and logging are decimating the forest preserves that once teamed with teenagers drinking alcohol stolen from their…
CHICAGO – Sex bot and general scammer SEXsingleMAlloRy was shocked to discover she was a fan of Chicago band Rat Ass’ new music, tech sources…
DELRAY, Mich. — Leading Juggalo scientists confirmed fascinating new research which indicates that “whoop whoop” has numerous meanings including “hello,” “goodbye,” and “show me your…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local woman Berkley Bauer has reportedly bought another fancy new water bottle that is hopefully going to kickstart a whole new lifestyle,…
WONKAVILLE — Lucky golden ticket winner Charlie Bucket, age 9, was surprised to find himself the recipient of a $98.75 bill from Ticketmaster Entertainment, Inc.…
ADELPHI, Md. — Local Mom, Susan Campbell, informed her son’s band to keep playing and not to pay her any mind as she is just…
LOS ANGELES – Steven Spielberg recently expressed regret for censoring the 20th anniversary release of “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” by editing out the guns and the…
WASHINGTON — Recently sentenced seditionist Stewart Rhodes told friends and family that he has a pretty good idea about which gang he intends to join…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local teenager Denise Draymond’s uncontrollable leg bouncing and foot tapping is catching the attention of multiple people who see potential in her…
BARTERTOWN, Australia — A group of mostly nude, heavily armed combatants honored the life of legendary singer and actress Tina Turner by fighting each other…
It’s no secret that tattoos go with punk music like a pack of Marlboro Reds with a lukewarm PBR. A match made in heaven. They’re…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Local punk Tommy Whitehead nearly caught an indecent exposure rap but was saved by a solitary, barely intact thread of his jeans,…
PHILADELPHIA – Local man Travis Burnett revealed to his roommates this week that, without immediate intervention and deal making, he is going to reach his…
WACO, Texas — Local punk Brianna “Gutpack” Mullhall was visibly upset upon learning Chip and Joanna Gaines will soon renovate beloved DIY venue Sugar House,…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — An outdoor metal show unexpectedly came to a complete stop after the band’s bass player Todd Michaels became distracted by a…