On November 12, 2021, Britney Spears became free. For leaders of the #FreeBritney movement like me, 11/12 was our 9/11, except in reverse. November 12…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Recent college graduate Matt DeLuca lost an argument early yesterday afternoon after his uncle, Gino DeLuca, simply repeated a fact back to…
RUCKERSVILLE, Va. — Local man Camden Singh had his overall worldview and philosophy shattered then reformed no less than six times while using social media…
LOS ANGELES — A relatively obscure film from the Indianapolis Police Department titled “Officer William Jameson’s Body Camera Footage 3/19/21” was awarded the Emmy for…
SAN DIEGO — Local socially conscious man Aaron Mayfield is pretty sure that all his self loathing, flagellation, and deprecation counts as a form of…
COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out of retirement and help as…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian classic rock band Bachman-Turner Overdrive announced around the crack of noon that they will not be taking care of any business…
WASHINGTON, D.C — The Supreme Court of the United States recently decided, after allowing a law banning all abortions after six weeks, that the State…
AUSTIN, Texas — Republican lawmakers in Texas finally passed a controversial voter suppression bill along party lines which is set to take the right to…
WASHINGTON — President Biden announced a rebranding of the “Middle East Peace Process” to “The War On War” in hopes of appeasing warmonger lawmakers on…
SEATTLE — Amazon Prime Air UAV Drone #434001 was written up by its supervisor for taking a three minute refueling break during hours that it…
OMAHA, Neb. — Citizens across the country are coping with record breaking heat and wondering why there has been seemingly zero warning of rising temperatures…
PORTLAND — Ardent leftist and Socialist Rifle Association member Jamie Stoltz was hospitalized after severely damaging her tongue by biting it for an entire day…
WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
LOS ANGELES — Hollywood A-lister Mark Wahlberg is researching a new role as a police officer in upcoming thriller “Crown Victoria” by having already committed…