Audrey Vieira
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WACO, Texas — Local punk Brianna “Gutpack” Mullhall was visibly upset upon learning Chip and Joanna Gaines will soon renovate…
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Chris Bowen
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BROCKPORT, N.Y. — Local goth Adriana Ross was let down by her assumption that the music of longtime rocker Alice…
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Joe Rumrill
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BEACON, N.Y. — Local guitarist Heff Kelsey was baffled after discovering the piece of music he was playing reportedly required…
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Ben Friedman
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ASBURY PARK, N.J. — An outdoor metal show unexpectedly came to a complete stop after the band’s bass player Todd…
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Doug Kolic
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HOUSTON — AI-generated punk band Fresh Scabies expressed their desire to crash on any available servers “just for a little…
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Listen up nerds, The Bollweevils took a brief two-decade-long break from writing music because their singer Daryl Wilson decided to…
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Joe Rumrill
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NEEDLES, Calif. — Frequent patrons of local watering hole The Running Refrigerator are reportedly befuddled over realizing the bar’s ever-playing…
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Mimi Kenny
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AJAX, Ontario — Retired obstetrician Dr. Malcolm Rugmand denied ever suggesting former Sum 41 drummer Steve Jocz’s mother terminate their…
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Brandon Morland
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CONCORD, N.H. — Local grunge revival band Lost Junk announced that they inked an unofficial deal to give a nearby…
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Doug Kolic
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PUEBLO, Colo. — Local man Trigg Barrett hoped that the Diarrhea Planet t-shirt he put on would distract his girlfriend’s…
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