Bobby Korec
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NEW YORK — Struggling indie trio Sternum First adopted a French bulldog puppy yesterday, undergoing one final attempt to reconnect…
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Louie Aronowitz
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HUDSON, N.Y. — Chester Fields, self-proclaimed “super fan” of indie-rock band The Break, paid a grand total of $0.00 yesterday…
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Ben Friedman
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NEW YORK — Inventor and former Weezer fan Dr. Stanley Tankowitz successfully time travelled last week to September 10, 2001,…
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Louie Aronowitz
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PARAMUS, N.J. — Musician Dan Beck has been repeatedly playing the same part of the Pavement song “Silence Kid” in…
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Lauren Lavín
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It is a historical fact that Andrew Jackson was a shit-eating bag of limp dicks and prolapsed buttholes. As a…
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Lauren Lavín
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At first glance, the names Cyrus and Jeff might not mean anything to you. They’re a couple of guys who’ve…
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Louie Aronowitz
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NANUET, N.Y. — Local new, potential best friends Mark Hughes and Brady Walker confirmed that they shared the most beautiful…
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Patrick Coyne
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PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man…
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Ben Friedman
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LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019…
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Erin McLaughlin
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When The Hard Times scored an interview with Jack White we were thrilled. However, what he said was so excruciatingly,…
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