Louie Aronowitz
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HUDSON, N.Y. — Local mother Mallory Kerner called her daughter Jenna this morning, shortly after texting to see whether or…
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Krissy Howard
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NORMAN, Okla. — A Facebook status update posted by Haute Sauce guitarist Julie Rice was hijacked today when her father…
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John Dixon
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GREENVILLE, S.C. — A black T-shirt frequently worn by local punk Ryan Matheson entered the “vaguely green” era of its…
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OXNARD, Calif. — Local gentleman Jay Deme impressed his new girlfriend Lisa Traynor last night by politely opening up a…
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Matt McClurg
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MEMPHIS — Classic reality TV series Ghost Hunters and To Catch A Predator aired a primetime crossover event earlier this…
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John Danek
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MACON, Ga. — Pro-life activist Kevin Hudson completed paperwork today to change his legal birthday to nine months earlier than…
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Dear Scabby: Weed makes me shit. Drinking expensive beer also makes me shit. Should I give up? -OUT OF TP…
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BERKELEY, Calif. — Total dumbshit motherfucker Bobby Owens attempted to start a circle pit last night during local hardcore band…
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Matt Wassung
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SAN DIEGO — Self-proclaimed “punk lawyer” Kelvin Rios lost his 100th consecutive case today, due to the fact he admittedly…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Following years of research and development, the average vegan ass is approaching a similar taste and texture…
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