Culture Archives - Page 438

The Hard Times Staff • January 27, 2020

REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake…

Bobby Korec • January 26, 2020

LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced…

Matthew Keplinger • January 26, 2020

LOS ANGELES — The traditional office space callout of “Kobe” when shooting a wadded up ball of paper into a…

Shea Strauss • January 26, 2020

CLEVELAND — Local woman and total poser Brandi Herrera could not recall her moon sign yesterday when asked, despite her…

The Hard Times Staff • January 26, 2020

ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local woman Connie Walters is fed up with all of her friends constantly asking for financial…

Aidan Sears • January 26, 2020

SEATTLE — Local dishwasher Freddie Young is frustrated by his inability to find an artist willing to tattoo Death Grips…

Patrick Coyne • January 25, 2020

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming…

Doug Francisco • January 25, 2020

DANVERS, Wash. — A beloved biscuits and gravy recipe, made famous by the local Triple Five restaurant, is allegedly an…

Patrick Crooks • January 25, 2020

ATHENS, Ga. — Record store clerk Jimmy Taylor, well-liked by customers for his attentiveness, knowledge of music, and generally affable…

Dan Rice • January 24, 2020

RALEIGH, N.C. — A shirtless Senator Bernie Sanders stepped into the UFC Octagon vowing to take on all comers during…

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