E.M. Caris
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local punk Rachel “Puke Pig” Valentino left an adult bookstore yesterday ready to enjoy a nice, cold…
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Kevin Tit
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BATON ROUGE, La. — Convicted murderer and death row inmate Tanner Greene’s biggest regret in life is not becoming a…
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Louie Aronowitz
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First and foremost, we want to say congratulations President Biden! Well, moreso good riddance Donald Trump but six in one…
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Kendra Mosenson
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DALLAS –– Two dozen members of the choral rock band The Polyphonic Spree are allegedly on Tinder looking for an…
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Patrick Coyne
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OLIVETTE, Mo. — Siblings Freddy and Kevin Rosario have separately come to the unfortunate conclusion that quoting a “Plimpton Auto”…
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John Dixon
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LONDON — Venerable heavy metal legends Iron Maiden announced they will hit the road again late next year and will…
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Dom Turek
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NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…
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Dan Kozuh
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this…
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Patrick Coyne
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CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor…
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Kevin Tit
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Fuck Joe Biden. Plain and simple. Who does that commie bastard think he is trying to raise taxes on blue-collar…
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