Theo Konstantino
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Hey friendo! I know it’s a bit awk between the police and the public rn, but I have an idea.…
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Taylor Roebuck
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Punk house staple and eight-year-old tabby cat Fat Vince Neil became the highest contributing member of…
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WASHINGTON — A sea of Trump supporters with the goal of stopping Joe Biden’s inauguration created chaos by building a…
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Kevin Tit
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TEMPE, Ariz. — Local punk and notable party animal Hilary Jones celebrated her third consecutive day of sobriety yesterday with…
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Ted Pillow
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RALEIGH, N.C. — Uncle Sal’s Pizzeria unveiled a new “Florida-style” pizza yesterday after an employee accidentally spilled a lukewarm Bud…
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Jonah Nink
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WASHINGTON — Capitol security officials announced this morning that the inauguration of President-elect Joe Biden will be secured by 25,000…
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Nick Ortolani
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LOS ANGELES — The upcoming fourth installment of the popular “Matrix” movies is expected to shatter records for dumb, pseduo-philisophical…
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Sari Beliak
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TUCSON, Ariz. — Local man Edgar Ruiz admitted today that he would have done things much differently if he knew…
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Ted Pillow
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KINGS PARK, N.Y. — 41-year-old Pantera megafan Ray “Nickelbag” Shipley is still enrolled in 11th grade at Kings Park High…
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Dan Kozuh
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BALTIMORE — Local thrash metal band Gynosphinx reportedly spent close to $500 to soundproof their practice space last week out…
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