Taylor Roebuck
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LANSING, Mich. — 14-year-old goth Sarah Marpa suffered a series of horrendous nightmares after watching lighthearted rom-com “The Wedding Singer”…
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Julia Zhen
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Brad Harris, a first time house show promoter, triple checked to make sure the only toilet at…
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Ryan Danley
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LOS ANGELES — Legendary alt-crooner Morrissey admitted that he feels creatively fulfilled now that he is able to cancel his…
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Zach Raffio
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local bouncer Frank DeGarge confirmed today that he is forced to cover up any non-tattooed parts of…
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Dianne Nora
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WASHINGTON — Members of the United States Senate were up until the early hours of the morning working to protect…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Local man Wesley Farkas is worried that a recent proposal to enter into a lifetime commitment with girlfriend…
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Taylor Roebuck
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PLYMOUTH, Ind. — Police officer Kurt Aldrich made a heroic domestic violence arrest after turning himself over to authorities following…
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Dianne Nora
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TALLAHASSEE — Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz issued an impassioned call for Governor Ron DeSantis to revoke his ban on mask…
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Krissy Howard
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BILLINGS, Mont. — Childless freak by choice Shelby Van Camp recognized yesterday that the silver lining to the colossal shitshow…
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Patrick Coyne
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A normally violent, freewheeling circle pit at a recent all-ages show suddenly transitioned into a tranquil,…
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