Meet Lisa Bergeron, when her primary care physician told her the weekly recommended number of drinks for a woman her size was between five and seven beverages, she knew could more than double those numbers in a single bottomless mimosa brunch sitting.
Not usually one to go above and beyond the call of duty in terms of school, work, or diet she consistently supersedes expectations when it comes to her drinking habits. If she’s not drinking enough frozen margaritas to ride a mechanical bull despite a recent concussion from her last disastrous night on the town, she’s not living up to her full potential and has resigned herself to a shadow life.
Doctors are quick to tell you the risks of consuming too much alcohol, but only really good doctors tell you the risks of not consuming enough alcohol. Would you rather have a failing liver or a failing social life? Decreased brain activity or decreased invitations to parties? A low sperm count or a low number of friends? I think the answers to these questions are pretty obvious.
Don’t get me wrong. Drinking the average number of drinks per week is fine as long as you’re fine with being average, just as studying an average amount of time is okay if you’re okay with being of average intelligence, but some people aren’t satisfied with mediocrity.
Contrary to popular opinion, moderation isn’t always key. If a doctor recommended that you exercise two times a week and he found out you were secretly exercising four times a week, he would be proud. Let’s take that a step further. If he found out you exercised every single day and even started neglecting your friends, family members, and hobbies to devote your life entirely to exercise, he would be ecstatic and probably induct you into some kind of health hall of fame. Why shouldn’t the same rules apply to drinking?
These same people who preach moderation and can’t mind their own business always express the importance of hydration whenever the subject of binge drinking enters the conversation, but Lisa gets more than enough water at that crucial point in the night when the concerned bartender secretly starts feeding her shots of water instead Don Julio Blanco.
Photo by Alice Phillips.