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Buying An Assault Rifle Doesn’t Mean I’m Unstable. I Have A Very Clear Goal, Have Been Planning For Years, And Will Have My Day

Night after night, Michael listens to you sheeple on his bunker’s short-wave radio breathlessly claiming there’s no reason a mentally stable person would ever need an assault rifle. Those two-faced corporate stooges want to ban Michael’s right to spew hot, burning lead as fast as his sweaty fingers can pump.

Well, Michael has some bad news for those lizards you call politicians and media analysts: Michael is not mentally unstable.

Stable people are characteristically goal-oriented. Well, Michael has dozens and dozens of assault rifles, all legally purchased by his next door neighbor who doesn’t have a history of public urination or aggravated assault, and believe me there is a goal.

Would an unstable person sleep in a burlap sack crammed full of AR-15s and hand grenades? Sure, but not Michael. Because other traits of a stable person include focus and long term planning. Would an unstable person have the focus to spend years meticulously pouring over blueprints? Would he have the patience to collect enough money to acquire exactly 13,947 rounds of 5.56 NATO ammo? NO!

Related: Without a Gun He Would Have Just Used Something Else to Kill 50+ People 400 Yards Away From the 32nd Floor


Do you know what is insane? Letting a tyrannical government be the only ones with nuclear weapons. Giving football players free speech. Not allowing Michael back into Toys “R” Us or within 100 yards of a public restroom. The world around Michael is a swirling, angry vortex of unjust laws and unforgiving parole agents.

Michael once heard from a cellmate that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well, Michael only needs one try and 37 fully stocked assault rifles. Michael will get results. Michael will have his day.

I’m Michael by the way.

Only a stable person would buy 37 copies of the same Hard Times shirt:

Article by Jordan Breeding @The_J_Breeding