Creature on Wing of Plane Reaffixes Mask After Taking Bite of Wires
ATLANTA — A terrified passenger aboard flight 1894 to Portland expressed slight relief today in noting that the creature on…
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Zach Raffio — Page 2
41 stories found
Three Fun Twists on Pumpkin Pie That Aren’t Nearly as Good as the First Drag of Your Morning Cigarette
Yum alert! Fall has arrived, and you know what that means: warm, cozy treats. Pumpkin pie is a classic -…
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Punk Sort Of Likes That One Kacey Musgraves Song, and That Other One, Plus That One’s Not So Bad, and The First Four Albums Are Good Too
RAHWAY, N.J. — Local punk Matt Gerricks shared this week that, despite his commitment to the punk genre and lifestyle,…
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Dive Bar Bouncer Forced to Cover Non-Tattooed Parts of Body Before Clocking In
SAN FRANCISCO — Local bouncer Frank DeGarge confirmed today that he is forced to cover up any non-tattooed parts of…
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Newly Uncovered Gregorian Chant from 1592 Somehow Co-Written by Jack Antonoff
OURAY, Col. — Researchers at the Ouray Audiology Research Facility were equally thrilled and confused that a recently discovered Gregorian…
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We Finally Found Out What the All-American Rejects’ Dirty Little Secret Was and Turns Out It’s Mostly Tax Stuff
Move over, Geraldo Rivera! We uncovered the All-American Rejects' dirty little secret. That's right. We finally got to the bottom…
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Daft Punk Breaking up Just Proves That European Automation Will Never Replace the American Workforce
As European technological innovation has caused countless industry jobs across the globe to become obsolete, the United States has proven…
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Band’s Bassist of Six Years Getting Closer & Closer to Being Added to Group Chat
CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. — Robby Danter, bassist and devoted member of local band The Tennis Court Oath for the past six…
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We Caught up With the Guy Who Grabbed My Bag and Ran Away
The Hard Times recently caught up with the hooded young man who ran up behind me and grabbed my Jansport…
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Overcompensating White Guy’s Top Nine Just All Black Squares
AUSTIN, Texas — Local man Hunter Brayden shared his Instagram Top Nine this week, which consisted entirely of black squares…
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