NEW YORK – Nearly-retired Beastie Boys fan Seth Duffy is currently fighting for his right to get a CPAP machine…
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I get that everyone else is super excited about Bon Iver’s new album of melancholy love songs, but, buddy, I…
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SEQUIM, Wash. — Local audiophile and longtime smoker Dale McGovern preferred the crackling sound and imperfections of cigarettes to the…
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ABERDEEN, Wash. — Local bald man Louis Grayson woke up in disarray after it was clear he was having another…
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INDIANAPOLIS – Clearlake Elementary students were treated to a day of wholesome fun and learning when Sebastian Miller, former horn…
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Unless it’s your wedding, most receptions suck worse than running out of vegan protein powder on leg day. Sure, a…
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It can be difficult to communicate to everyone how horny you are in a way that all parties understand. Gone…
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Our latest song is almost done, but something’s missing. The vocals sound like a freaky werewolf threeway, the breakdown chugs…
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I don’t know if it’s because I’m constantly saying, “Yes, Chef!” like I’m in a cult, deboning sugar gliders because…
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I used to set aside fifteen percent of my paycheck for IRAs, savings accounts, and other get-rich-slow schemes. But why…
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