I took ASL classes for a year because I didn’t want to look like an asshole at tonight’s Godspeed You! Black Emperor show. I couldn’t wait to sign, “Play ‘Motherfucker=Redeemer’!” to the stage and watch the band play the song out of pure respect for my sensitivity. But then I found out they’re a bunch of liars.
Did you know those motherfuckers can talk?
Before I saw that interview on YouTube, I thought Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s albums were an attempt to rhythmically communicate their lived experience to the rest of the world. But why would a band that can fully sing Jason Mraz barbershop songs a cappella in the train station choose to play nine minutes of atonal noise and audio samples of trains? I always thought of Godspeed as a bunch of speech–and possibly hearing–impaired people trying to make a statement about the inherently flawed nature of human existence. Turns out they’re just a bunch of perverts dickin’ around with feedback and cellos.
Which brings me to another point:
What kind of “band” makes music like that on purpose?! Can you imagine slowly building an intricately layered, spiritually transcendent movement that incorporates fluctuating dynamics, multiple rhythm section players, ambient noise for dramatic tension, huge swells of noise meant to surprise the listener, selfless guitar playing, and audio samples, when you could be doing, “OOOHHHH-WAAAA-AAAAAAAAA-AAA!” instead? Their lack of down-with-the-sickness vibes is probably why I’ve never finished a single one of their structureless 12-minute songs.
Also, Godspeed’s field recordings of dystopian poetry from the late 1990s count as reading, and fuck reading.
The band is Gen X, so maybe someone should tell the band that archaic physical instruments accompanied by antique visual media is no longer necessary since TikTok exists. Maybe the members of Godspeed You! Black Emperor should duet some videos and share sponsored content, plugs for their merch, podcast, side projects, blog, upcoming festival dates, backup account second podcast, Cameo account, various solo albums, and Twitch streams instead.
I guess they’re just, like, really fucked up or something. Do you think they get high? Wait. They’re CANADIAN? That makes a lot of sense now. Nevermind. Please don’t talk. Or sign. Just keep up whatever it is you think you’re doing.
Photo by Grywnn.